Fun problems to have

Depending on which version of the bumper sticker you believe, Talkeetna, Alaska, is "a quaint little drinking village" with either "a climbing problem," "a fishing problem" or "a tourism problem." When you also consider that this town devotes an entire summer weekend in celebration of moose turds, you begin to think it's time for yet another bumper sticker.

The Talkeetna Moose Dropping Festival is always centered on the second Saturday in July. It involves...well...moose poop, thousands of robin-egg-sized pellets deposited locally by a thriving moose population to the tune of several hundred a day per moose. At the Moose Dropping Festival you can buy a moose pellet with a chance to win a $1,000 prize, you can toss poop pellets in a game, you can buy decorative jewelry made from moose poop and oh so much more. Bet you never though that poop could be so useful.


Talkeetna is probably best described as a cross between a hippie commune and a veterans' enclave. Both groups, not always able to tolerate each other's company in other parts of the country, give this town its special flare and charm. Both groups also engage in lots of smoking and drinking during party weekends like the Moose Dropping Festival; one group completely legal, the other somewhat less so. And, speaking of parties, in Talkeetna the party is not even getting cranked up until every state trooper within a hundred miles has been called out at least once.


And of course, something as crazy as the Moose Dropping Festival is bound to be misconstrued by some animal-rights dingbat in the Lower 48 states. Some years ago one of these nut cases indignantly called the Talkeetna Chamber and demanded to know how high the moose were when they were dropped. Without missing a beat, the woman in Talkeetna answered, "It depends on whether we're dropping them on gravel or on concrete." Even in Talkeetna, dropping a live moose is a little over the edge. Not much over the edge, perhaps, but still over the edge.


Running down the pictures from top to bottom, Vietnam vet Julius Lenhart was managing vehicles in the handicapped parking area for the festival; Kris Dupey was handling the Moose Poop Toss Game in the kids area; the Talkeetna Red Hat Society had the brightest float in the parade; and the young woman on the beautiful blue-eyed horse was a hit with everybody in town. (Note the loaded .44 magnum revolver in a shoulder holster under the horse-woman's left arm.)