Gnats That!

The other evening we boondocked next to a Nevada lake, and it was the first night we'd been able to sit outside in the evening coolness. Suddenly, the distaff side cocked her head, looked in the direction of the rig, and asked those fateful words that every RV repair husband hates to hear: "What's that noise?"

Husbandly ears pricked and listened fearfully. It was almost a "white noise" hiss, and it did seem to be coming from the rig. But wait, the noise grew louder, and there it was: A huge swarm of gnats! Like a vast cloud they came at us, and we both took to flight. No amount of "deet" containing bug repellent was putting these guys off, and we took retreat in the RV.

With our windows secured with screens, we felt secure. But never mind, the little devils must have been to the flying magicians' school--in they came, finding the most attractive thing in the rig was the overhead florescent light. The cursed things were so thick on the light they actually began to reduce the illumination level. What to do?

Some quick thinking turned up a pump spray bottle of window cleaner. A few pumps of the blue solution rained down a mess of gnats, but any of the remaining flyers that flitted up onto the light fixture quickly stuck to the spray and carried out a macabre dance of death.

BEFORE YOU TRY THIS AT HOME: Be sure to warn anyone "downwind" of your shootin' match. I am living proof that a mouth full of windex and bugs tastes pretty bad. After you get the mass of the critters drowned, a quick wipe up with a paper towel really helps. Gnaturally.