By Normal Frump
RV TRAVEL TV CRITIC
This is horrifying. It’s an adventure in stupidity. It’s from an episode of a TV show titled “90 Day Fiancé,” which is a pretty big hit (heaven help us!). In this particular episode, which is about RVing, viewers gain incredible insight into the intelligence level of some humans, and may conclude, as I did, that an IQ no greater than that of a brain-damaged poodle is all that’s required to lead a family of Neanderthal descendants on a 400-mile RV adventure.
Nobody on this trip knows the first thing about RVing. The star, a guy named Andrei with a thick accent, claims he needs to be the driver of this accident-waiting-to-happen because he has a license to drive an RV (as does practically every other person in America over 16).
So 11 people cram into an overloaded RV (plus camera crew), each with a suitcase. With Andrei at the wheel they set off on a made-for-TV adventure that combines stupidity with incredible stupidity and proves that anyone with an iPhone can make a movie and find somewhere to air it.
Here’s the scene, which will likely make you decide you’d rather eat a diseased snapping turtle than watch the show. Here is how things start off:
“The whole family is on edge because they aren’t sure what to expect. But once the RV is moving, there is no going back. A nasty spill on the way to pick everyone up highlights how the trip will go. Andrei makes a sharp turn, and all the drinks in the refrigerator come flying out, and there are cans everywhere. He pulls over so they can clean up the mess. But it doesn’t end there.”
Can you stand the suspense?
The family finally reaches the destination, which is good in one way — good that they made it — because they are all safe. But maybe it’s not so good because they all live to pass their defective DNA on to another generation.
So here they are arriving:
“He (Andrei) honks the horn and starts to back up into the driveway. But he crashes the RV into a keep-off-the-grass sign that is on the lawn. He turns it sideways, and Jen Potthast calls him a moron for not seeing the sign. Andrei himself asks who puts a sign that close to the driveway anyways. But Becky is just hoping he doesn’t crash into Jen’s house.”
OMG! The drama! Are you experiencing chills up and down your spine because it is so spectacularly brilliant?
Okay, lucky you, because you can now watch a gripping three-minute clip of the show.
This is television for the 21st century. Oh, we’re in trouble, folks!