By Gail Marsh
When I first approached my husband with the idea of visiting cemeteries, he paused and then laughed. “For a minute there I thought you said, ‘cemeteries.’” He’s not the only one who thinks cemeteries are reserved for the dead and the bereaved. However, in recent years, novice historians and genealogists have found a treasure trove of information in cemeteries across the country. Others simply enjoy the beautiful gardens and trees of our oldest graveyard grounds. There are many fascinating cemeteries just waiting for you to visit, but first, it’s important to have some background information.
1800s
Knowing the history of our earliest cemeteries helped normalize them as places to visit while RVing around the country. In the 1800s, most cemeteries in America were located on private family property, church-owned property, or city-owned property. As municipalities grew, the city-owned gravesites had to be moved for the sake of expansion. Many cities purchased land well outside city boundaries to be used as dedicated final resting places.
Turns out, these early cemeteries also provided prime spots for picnickers and those looking for a peaceful, gathering spot. Why cemeteries? At the time, many municipalities lacked recreational areas, so folks sought alternatives, and cemeteries worked well.
Epidemics of yellow fever and cholera raged across the country and also contributed to the practice of families meeting in cemeteries—both for burials and as gathering spots for other, happier get-togethers.
Cemetery design
Cemeteries designed during the 1800s were fashioned like our gardens or parks today. Winding paths meandered through an arboretum-like setting where the public was welcome to relax and enjoy the beautiful landscape filled with flowers, bushes, and magnificent trees. It wasn’t unusual for folks to gather at their family’s cemetery lot for seasonal celebrations, birthdays, and more.
Decline
By the early 20th century, the popularity of cemetery picnics and gatherings began to decline. Some municipalities discouraged social gatherings because of the trash and other litter often left behind.
Medical advances had improved the nation’s health so that death was less common. This meant that families gathered at cemeteries less and less.
Many cities developed public parks designed specifically for leisure activities, which many people preferred over cemetery settings.
Cemetery etiquette
I distinctly remember visiting the cemetery with my parents on numerous Memorial Days. (We called it “Decoration Day.”) On this special day each year, we placed flowers on my grandparents’ graves. My dad showed me where to walk so as to stay off the graves. He modeled a quiet voice and respectful attitude, too. Today most cemeteries post a list of rules. Be sure to follow them and teach everyone accompanying you to abide by the rules, as well.
Here are some common rules of etiquette when you visit a cemetery:
- Hours. Plan to visit during the posted hours of operation. Be sure to get permission if you must visit outside of the posted hours.
- Headstones. Do not make rubbings, sit, or lean on memorial markers or headstones. Even a light touch on an older marker may cause it to crumble. Walk in between the headstones and keep off burial sites. Do not take anything away from the gravesites. Mourners may leave behind a sentimental item, flowers, or other item that has special significance. Take a photo, perhaps, but hands off!
- Path and roadways. Stay on the path as much as possible. Do not run or allow children to run among the gravesites. Be respectful at all times. Drive at or below posted speeds and watch for mourners who may inadvertently cross the road in front of you.
- Funerals. Give mourners the right of way. Stay well away from funeral attendees, and use a quiet voice if you must speak. Ensure that your cell phone is silenced or turned off so as not to disturb mourners or interrupt the internment service.
Get assistance
Often, the cemetery director can help you, and most are eager to do so. If you are searching for a particular grave, for example, the director can refer to the cemetery’s plot book and save you lots of search time!
Some older cemeteries have maps that will direct visitors to the gravesites of famous (or infamous) people. Maps like these are also great time-savers.
Why visit cemeteries?
Here are some reasons I like visiting old cemeteries. First, the birth and death dates are insightful. You’ll discover that many, many of our ancestors died at a much younger age than folks today. Secondly, the epitaphs are interesting. I’ve found final thoughts recorded on tombstones that bring tears to my eyes and others that make me laugh out loud! Finally, I love the peace and lovely landscapes of America’s oldest cemeteries.
I encourage you to consider visiting cemeteries as you RV, too!
Do you visit cemeteries on your RV travels? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
##RVT1121
I have been known to visit cemeteries but not usually while on camping trips. Once I did stop to check one out because I was curious about a large memorial. I learned that many years before, a Christmas eve party fire had killed 43 people, and a guy rode horses a hundred miles to find a doctor, and they rode horses all the way back. I hadn’t heard of it before, was interesting and sad. Thereafter, a scholarship was given every year in the doctor’s name.
Visited a Military cemetery in North Carolina this Summer. Located on the former grounds of a Civil War Confederate Militay Prison. One area of Unknowns may contain 11,000 remains from a colera outbreak amoung the prisoners.
Military tradition has been to place a coin on tombstones.
Arlington National Cemetery is truly impressive.
Lots of history, if you only look.
My wife and I do visit cemeteries on our RV trips. The historical sites are like a time capsule waiting to be discovered. They are peaceful and tranquil. Paying respect is the least we can do.
I do stop by cemeteries as I RV. I grew up with my family picnicking in cemeteries in Washington state on a regular basis. They are fascinating, peaceful places, and as long as you have respect for the dead, and those who are visiting, I think it is someplace we should spend more time not less. Just recently I stopped at an abbey monastery for Trappist monks who had a natural cemetery on their grounds. It was absolutely fascinating. If you have not seen one, I recommend seeking one out.
I love to visit old cemeteries! In fact, was just at one yesterday in West Virginia. Oldest birthdate I found was 1820…both husband and wife. Surprisingly they both lived i to their 90’s!!! I stood by their graves imagining the changes they witnessed during that time period!
I have visited a number of them that clearly showed some kind of epidemic. In one in Custer, SD, I found a section that was almost entirely all children that died over a period of a few weeks. I stood there trying to imagine the grieving parents and wondered what (then) incurable illness swept through Custer.
There is a small private family cemetery a couple miles out in the woods near my home. All buried there are family…except one…a Civil War veteran. I was able to look him up in military archives but have always wondered how he ended up in their family plot. Perhaps a farm hand or someone who became a very close friend.
We have visited several cemeteries on our travels. As a military veteran Arlington is at the top of the list. Selma, Alabama has a wonderful old cemetery. The Spanish moss hanging from old live oak trees add a certain dignity. If ever in the Townsend, TN area do not miss the several cemeteries in Cades Cove. I noted several headstones with Revolutionary War dates.
Welcome toMaine travelers. Here in this fine old State we have hundreds of very old cemeteries, marking the graves of many of the early settlers of these United States of America. In addition the graves of Revolutionary soldiers abound. The history of the country is lying in those early graves of America. Come on down and see for yourself. Lots of camping here.
We seek out cemeteries to visit. We live in Oklahoma where it is a “newer” state. Most graves are dated to very late 1890’s. We go to “older” states and marvel that they are dated 1810 or older. Some have beautiful gravestones that we have never seen.
I, also, enjoy stopping by old cemeteries. Last summer, my brother and I set out to find a ‘lost cemetery’ for our ancestors. Feel free to read the article, which I have attached, regarding the success of this endeavor. It was truly a rewarding experience.
https://1drv.ms/w/s!Av8ma-P7fYsTjRNlo3dYrJ0cdnVw?e=Q9DaL3
We just finished a 3 month RV trip where my wife wanted to stop in Chester OH to find her great grandfather’s grave site. Not only did she find it, but also found a couple dozen additional ancestors she wasn’t even aware of. She is now emersed in Ancestry. com to trace these folks down.
I don’t visit cemeteries other than to participate in Wreaths Across America during Christmas. The idea of someone enjoying themselves among the people who may be grieving just does not sit well with me. Historical research, understandable.
As a retired public historian I’m now an avid genealogist. Old cemeteries have always been something we visit. One week-long visit back to my home area I spent every day taking gravestone pictures.
My interest in cemeteries goes back to my pre-teen years when my family was paid to care for a small family cemetery near our home. We mowed, trimmed and disposed of dead flowers. I can assure you the residents never complained that we walked across their property. I also kind of like the thought of children running around a cemetery. As they get older they’ll be comfortable visiting them and probably develop a curiosity about their relatives or others interred there.
When we rv we visit the old cemetery in Texas where several generations of my family, my parents and younger brother and his wife are buried. It is only a quarter of a mile from the farm we were raised on that was in our family and owned for over 100 years. The cemetery has a large parking area coved with huge old oak trees. I still know the old families that live in the area and feel home spending a couple of days dry camping and visiting. It is 2500 miles from where I live now. I spend time seeing who has been added …old classmates and friends…cleaning up my family plot and bringing flowers. some people may find it strange but I find it a peaceful stop in our travels..
Thank you, Gail. I went to school in Bowling Green, Kentucky (Western Kentucky University) and one of our regular running courses wound its way through all the roads in the city’s cemetery. While I was in graduate school in Knoxville, Tennessee (University of Tennessee) I found a cemetery near where I was living and began running through the cemetery as one of my morning-run courses. During the second or third time I ran in the cemetery someone associated with the cemetery told me that I was not allowed to run there. I thought it odd, but I complied. Besides, I did prefer my other courses a bit because of the traffic I had to navigate to reach the cemetery.
Our RV travel typically is well-removed from cemeteries, so I think it unlikely that we’ll visit any other than to monitor and care for the graves of our relatives. By the way, DW is from the northeast corner of Alabama and they still have Decoration Day at the local cemeteries there. It is in the spring, May I think.
I’m a photographer, and one of my favorite subjects is photographing gravestones. We make it a point to find old and unusual cemeteries in our routes. We have discovered so many wonderful ones, different cultures, different religions, ones with ornate tombstones or very unusual / modern ones as well as famous or interesting people and epitaphs. It’s all of our history. One of the most touching things that happened while I’ve been doing this was when one of my photos of a “cello” tombstone was published, the mother of the young man contacted me and asked me if I could send her the photo. She had been unable to attend his funeral, and it meant a lot to her to see the special tombstone that his friends had made in his honor. I’ve never forgotten that.
I’ve always had mixed feelings about cemeteries though. As much as I love them, I feel torn that they take up so much space. At what point will the space for the dead out grow the space for the living? How do we decide this? (glad it’s not me).
Wife and I stop at cemeteries quite often. One in particular . In the “land between the lakes” in Kentucky and Illinois its a big island and in the fiftys the us government had everyone removed and all dwellings removed. The cemeteries are one of the few remaining items. We came across this one named Little Hope Cemetery. I “hope it was named after a long gone town and not, well, there’s little Hope Now or something to that effect.
In 1950 my father was somehow asked to become the family historian. We had charts all over the house. Much of his research started with visiting cemeteries in the area where some of the family had settled. On weekends we would visit cemeteries and get info off of tomb stones that would start leads to other cemeteries and leads. After a year he discovered that we had descended from three brothers that came from Germany in 1728, thru Penn. and on thru the mid-west. On my mother’s side where her grandparents and other family are buried are graves where Native Indians are also buried. It is total fascination.
I was a single mom, dragging my two kids all over the country tent camping. One of the things we really loved doing was looking for a cemetary at lunch time. We would pic-nic, and then walk around looking at the head stones. Sometimes it was seeking the oldest tombstone in that cemetary, others it was all the information included on the stone. I had large bound paper tablets (36″ x 18″) for each of us, and we would use that paper to trace the face of the stone by rubbing charcoal, or crayola over the paper laying on top of the stone. My kids loved this, and were always eager to see if we would get to have lunch in a really, really old cemetary. We were always very respectful of the area, and if there were other people we would seek out an area away from them to give them privacy.
We stopped in Battle Mountain Nevada a number of years ago to see if we could find the home where my husband lived until he was 2 or 3. His father was a mining engineer at several mines in area. His grandfather owned and worked in mines. (1882 – 1936). Never did find the house, but we did find his grandfather’s grave at the local cemetery. Later did some research and found his obituary & other information. His grandfather & grandmother were well known & active participants in the community. We stopped by again last year to pay our respects.
Is that where all the Thor RVs go to be buried?
In almost eight years of full time traveling, and visiting several cemeteries along the way, two unusual cemeteries come to mind. First is in Plymouth MA, where we found some of the oldest gravestone anywhere. Reason being, colonists landed here at Plymouth Rock. Second most unusual was in Natchez MS. Here we found the grave stone of ‘Louise the Unfortunate’ and another grave where the mother who has steps going down to her daughters casket, so that she could be with her daughter during thunderstorms, which her daughter was afraid of. These are just two of a number of unusual gravesite in this cemetery. This is a large cemetery with many hills. You can obtain a folded brochure guiding you to the areas of the most unusual gravesites and a snippet describing why the grave is unusual.
The Natchez Cemetery Visitor Center is open:
Monday-Saturday: 8:30 a.m.- 5:00 p.m.
640 South Canal Street
Natchez, MS 39120
601.446.6345
https://www.findagrave.com/
Sorry, Mike. I’ve been so busy working on tomorrow’s newsletter that I just now noticed that our sometimes-overzealous spam filter put this into the Spam folder. (For something with links it just normally puts it into Pending.🤔) Thanks for the link.👍 Have a good night. 😀 –Diane at RVtravel.com
Thank you
We are currently in Savannah for Dec and Jan. We’ve been here before and one of our favorite stops is the Colonial Park cemetery in the historic district. Internments began in the mid 1700’s and were discontinued in 1853. It is so interesting to look at the old gravestones and imagine what life must have been like in those days.
Bonaventure cemetery in Savannah is another very picturesque and interesting place to visit.
Cemeteries are great places to visit.
Here’s a good book:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CG89MQWS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
If you only visit one, I would suggest Bonadventure in Savannah, GA. It’s the coolest-looking cemetery we’ve seen, and great tours are available. There is a Cholera cemetery near Toledo, a Civil War cemetery of Confederate soldiers near Sandusky, OH, and Lakeview Cemetery in Cleveland, OH, which has Garfield’s Tomb with Tiffany glass. Of course, there is Arlington. Our country is full of fascinating cemeteries.
Here’s one I bet you didn’t know about…
Grand Canyon Pioneer Cemetery. It’s a very special place to explore.
My wife and I often visit cemeteries when we travel.
https://www.hollywoodcemetery.org/ Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond is one of our favorites. We generally seek out the final resting place of famous individuals; from Captain Kangaroo to Guy Lombardo to Satchel Paige.
We like to visit cemeteries to read the tombstones. In military cemeteries I look for the oldest sites and those who were Medal of Honor recipients. We also visited Sacagawea gravesite at the Wind River Reservation cemetery. I bet we were the only ones to ever visit driving a motorhome towing a car. We also visited Billy the Kid’s grave in Fort Sumner, NM and where he was jailed, not in the motorhome that time. We visited Buffalo Bill’s grave and museum near Golden, Colorado. There’s a lot to learn in cemeteries.
As an historian, I’ve long encouraged all my family to make a practice of visiting graveyards if for nothing more than to say a prayer of respect and come closer to history studies.
Thank you, Gail! Certainly one of the chief things that we saw during our recent tour of “ancient” Ireland was cemetaries. We even took a tour of one of the most famous of the cemetaries in eastern Ireland. We also saw several burial sites within churches and within the church grounds. Happy new year and safe travels!