Fooling around on the road: A guide to RV lovemaking

By Tony Barthel
(Rated PG 😉 )
More and more of us are spending more time in our RVs. As such, we’re doing everything in our RVs from cooking to laundry to making magic of the night. You know… fooling around! But like so many other aspects of RV life, sex in an RV is something that might be approached differently. This is especially true if you have little ones who travel with you. 

What are the challenges of amorous activities in a mobile vacation machine? Well, there are many. The RV Odd Couple did an outstanding and somewhat lighthearted video on the subject a few years ago, but I also asked in a forum about others’ tips. That’s what we have here today. 

One of the unmistakable things is that RVs are terrible at keeping sounds suppressed. As I sit here, I can hear my neighbors’ kids squawking even though they’re in their RV and I’m in mine. So, one of the things to be cognizant of is sound. 

The sound of silence…

Frankly, the more sounds that are being created in any circumstance, the more the neighbors can hear. Whether that’s the best musical playlist, in your mind, or the sounds of passion, it’s good to know how far sound travels. 

For example, you might be in your RV with the air conditioner on, thinking nothing on the planet could be louder than that Coleman rattling up on the roof. However, in all honesty, even a moderate amount of conversation will waft through those thin walls out to the outside world. 

The proof of that is me sitting here in my RV listening to our neighbors over their Coleman Mach telling their kids to stop whatever they’re doing. For the umpteenth time. 

If you’re in the throes of passion, it might be good to have some idea of who’s around and what all they are able to pick up as they walk past your rocking RV—barely able to contain their laughter. 

To get an idea of how far sound travels, perhaps put on some music or the TV at a volume where you can hear it and then go outside your RV. You might be surprised at how well the sound travels past your air conditioner and into the common area of the RV park. 

Time to launch

Timing can be another thing. If you’re feeling amorous and you’re in an RV, perhaps consider the time you resolve that passion. While people in a sticks-and-bricks might have the luxury of being able to address that issue at almost any time of day or night, RV dwellers might have to be aware of who’s around when things go down. 

If the place you’re enjoying at the moment has a time when a lot of folks leave for the day on an adventure, that might be the ideal time to begin your own exploratory efforts. If there are times when the park has activities, drawing others to those activities, then that might be the time for your own alternate activities. 

And it would be inappropriate to enjoy these in the common areas, of course. 

What if you have kids?

In the process of making more, if you have little ones, it might take some planning. 

Depending on their age(s), you can use this to your advantage. Older children can go out and find activities; younger ones can flat be lied to. If they’re at the age where Santa and the Easter Bunny are still fully real in their minds, that shaking in the RV might be the result of some “wind.” At least, as far as they’re concerned. 

You might also consider having a baby monitor on them, depending on their age, so you can see if they’re starting to become bored having watched Barney for the 111th time and come looking for Mommy and Daddy. 

You might also blame the shaking in the RV on a washing machine. If you’ve got littles and a washing machine in your RV, then they may already be accustomed to that device rocking the RV. A little more shaking in the shack isn’t going to be detected as anything other than more clean laundry. 

Of course, if you don’t have a washing machine, perhaps now might be the time to consider one. Even a portable one. It would solve two issues: dirty clothes and “dirty” thoughts. And there’s nothing wrong with either. 

If your littles aren’t so little, they might also be the ideal age to go find activities in the park, if the park you’re staying at has those. Programs like Junior Rangers or other group activities might be the perfect solution for your own activity planning. 

One thing to know. If the older kids know what’s happening, so do the younger kids. This kind of juicy gossip is difficult for youngsters to keep under their hats. 

Contingency planning

If you have an RV, you should have a contingency plan for any kind of emergency, including one where you’re playing that naughty game that seems to spark the passion. Like being prepared for fire, it’s also good to be prepared in the event you’re caught by the littles. Or just creating entertainment for every other camper in earshot. 

Of course, a lock on the door or emphatic enforcement of knock before you enter are great starts. But if the kitchen’s on fire and so is the afternoon in the bedroom, it’s good to have some way of explaining away what’s going on should the littles come a-knocking. 

One way to do so is to just be honest. After all, stigmatizing what we’re all wanting isn’t the best course of action. But this is an RV website, not a parenting one, so it’s good to be prepared for all sorts of goings-on in the RV. Including the kind that involves those Hansel and Gretel outfits. 

Stabilization

As it is, RVs are wobbly boxes at best. No matter how good your RV is, the kind of activity that most of us never talk about is going to produce some motion in the rig. Especially if done properly. 

So things like X-chocks on a two-axle trailer or additional bracing under the stabilization jacks might be helpful. I’ve been told that a tripod under the pin of a fifth wheel is just the kind of additional stabilization that will help prevent the neighbors from knowing what’s going on. 

Now, all of us have our own sensibilities and thoughts about just about anything in the universe, so your willingness or desire to keep your neighbors or family from knowing about your willingness and desire is dependent on your own ways of thinking about things. 

But it’s good to be able to be in control of any situation to adapt it to your own way of thinking. It’s also good to be aware of how aware your neighbors or other occupants in your RV are of the things that are happening. 

I’ve attached a pretty informative and fun look at this thanks to the RV Odd Couple, which you can watch here. We always appreciate your input, especially if the stories are funny. But we do request that you keep comments about making a larger family even larger as family friendly as possible. 

And thank you. 

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