Before you grew up and left home to head out on your own was your relationship stronger with one parent or the other? Did have a better relationship with Dad than Mom? Or was it the other way around? Or was it about the same?
We know this may not be an easy question because of stepparents, absentee parents or because a parent died young and left you with only a mother or father. For the purpose of this survey, answer based on the “parent” who raised you, whether your biological parent, stepparent or one who adopted you.
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You comments, as always, are welcome.
I was adopted in 1950 by three biological sisters (the first single woman adoption in New York State.) I never had a father, none of them dated or married. I was influenced by each one as they all had special skills. In my case each relationship was unique, there is no way I can choose.
My Dad could build anything with wood, but couldn’t change a spark plug. My mother didn’t have any kind of mechanical background but she had an analytical mind and could figure out anything, so in my teen years my Mom did more to further my training in cars. As I grew into young man with a family and a home to maintain my Dad became my mentor with my Mom’s supervision of course. I had a neighbor who watched my Mom and Dad working on one of my projects who said he was glad she was my Dad’s wife and not his. Lol
Father was killed when I was 5 years old
I was a Daddy’s girl from the get go. Unfortunately, he died when I was 5. My poor mom tried hard but she could never fill that huge gap left when my dad died. Now that she’s gone I feel very guilty about never giving her a break. I was not an only child. I was the oldest of 4. My mom never remarried, she worked full time and had a tough time raising us alone. I do wish I’d appreciated her more than I did.
My father was a career Army pilot so only saw him about every 4 years passing thru to his next assignment. My dad married my mother in Hawaii and left her there to go to some other base. She became a drunk and a {bleeped} in New York City. My grandparents took over the parenting role and gave me the good values I have today. Without them, I wouldn’t have completed college and made a career flying helicopters. Miss them every year and I’m now 79 with a great wife and fulltiming in our Bluebird Wanderlodge.
Although they were both very good to me, along with my stepmother, my parents were divorced when I was 3, and I lived with my mom and visited my dad on weekends and a summer vacation.
I grew up closer to my Father. We were fishing and outdoor buddies. My younger brother was closer to Mom. Unfortunately Dad passed away from cancer back in 1972 when I was 19. I still miss the closeness we had.
Mother, father left when I was 7. Saw him only once after that when he tried to borrow $5000.
After reading some of these I feel guilty in that my parents were wonderful, God, Country and Family people. I miss them both.
My parents were both wonderful! My brother and I got great starts in life and both of us have been mostly happy. I miss my dad who died at 100, May 8 2020. I am traveling to visit my 97 year old mom now. We talk a couple of times a week at least.
Growing up I was the black sheep of the family. The unwanted. My grandmother/grandfather and an aunt were my mentors. Thanks to them I had focus and taught values and understanding. The Golden boy got all including jail. Yet at the end I have a great wife and children with family values. So in the end I did succeed. So sometimes you don’t need parents to succeed.
Wow! There are some pretty awful stories here! I am grateful that I had relatively close relationships with both my parents, who each lived into their 80’s.
My father had a family because that was what was expected of a successful person in his field. His profession was everything to him, the family being left to Mom to figure out. She threw herself into it, as women did in the ’50s, and we did very well.
Both of my parents were narcissistic but it impacted me less with my father-he WANTED kids, unlike my mother who constantly told me she wished she had aborted me (pre-RoeVS Wade). My mother forced me into every kid beauty pageant she could, and I am to put it mildly a tomboy girl. 10 years of losing pageants leaves scars. When she left early/mid 1960s my brother and I asked our father to keep our custody and he agreed. Later on my brother’s relationship with my dad deteriorated till it was similar to mine with maternal host beast. I believe children tend to get on better with opposite-s*x parent. I think that when he died, my father was chagrined that I was the son he had always wanted. After my tomboy elementary/jr high, my father tried to force me into his “ideal” feminine mold- Galatea, anyone? Didn’t work.
My father was in the Navy for 20 years, the entire Viet Nam Era. He missed nine of my first eighteen Christmases. He was always there in the background, guiding our family while our mom carried out their plans. Luckily for me, I got to know him much better as an adult.
Nice relationship with both, but generally Daddy’s girl. He always seemed to accept me as I was, and, unusually for the time, didn’t place any limitations on me due to gender. Unlike mom, go figure.
Mom was a stay at home Mom so, we were close. Worked every day with Dad on the farm, so, we were close. Based on a lot of the comments below, I was lucky.
About all I can say is me too. Very lucky! Sometimes I think country kids have it best, even if we don’t think so at the time.
My dad and I NEVER got along. Nuff said.
My abusive father worked sunrise to sundown. My mother sat at home working jigsaw puzzles and barking orders. i enlisted in the Air Force and left in ’72. They have both died and I didn’t attend their funerals. Sadly, I don’t miss either of them.
In my early years, for two reasons, it was my mother. First she didn’t then work outside the home and second my dad worked second shift which limited his time with my siblings and myself. Later, mom returned to the work force and both were working first shift so things evened out. I credit my mother for my inquiring mind and my father for my variety of manual skills and ability to improvise. All of this has led to a very happy and productive life. So Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there and especially to my own father who left us too young at age 57 in 1975.