There’s always someone at a party who attracts a crowd because he or she can tell a joke so easily. Everybody laughs. They definitely have a knack for it. Others… Well, they are so bad at telling jokes that they don’t even try.
How about you? Are you great at telling jokes or are you a joke-telling dud? Perhaps you think you’re maybe somewhere in between?
Inquiring minds would like to know. Oh, and if you feel so inclined, please leave us your favorite joke in the comments below. Maybe we’ll use them in an upcoming newsletter…
My brother who is a Walmart truck driver and calls me every Friday on his way home always has a joke to tell that he’s heard on the road. I laugh, we hang up and I can’t remember enough of the joke to tell DW, I’ll screw it up every time.
A couple were shopping. The shopping center was packed and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. She became so worried that she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.”
He husband replied, “Well, I’m in the bar around the corner.”
I’m not very good but have known some guys over the years that were very good. I enjoy a good joke but can’t remember them for long.
I’m far better than my wife thinks I am. But her sense of humor is minimal.
Ps, I was a resort golf caddie for 16 years, so yes, I can tell a joke.
But then again, Ozzie, she married you. Just sayin’. 😆 Sorry…couldn’t resist. Have a great day! 😀 –Diane at RVtravel.com
I can’t remember a joke, to tell it correctly. I however can tell a joker right off and stay away from him. ‘Two guys walk into a bar — and now — neither of us can remember who drove.’ Not a joke, just reminiscent of my “earlier years”‘ which now seemed to have been a joke.
But you survived them, as most of us here did. That’s the important thing. 😆 Have a great day, Kelly. 😀 –Diane at RVtravel.com
Yep, but we are still looking for the car. lol
😆 –Diane
We think it was a 1950 something and believe it was either blue or green. We were either on the East coast or West coast because we were near water. If you see it let me know. The first week of Basic Training was …….. so we were told. (sorry I’ll shut up now).
Well, I haven’t seen it here on the West Coast, so it must’ve been on the East Coast. Sorry I can’t help you more than that, Kelly. And Basic Training I would know nothing about, except that my son made it in the Marines and even survived the Crucible with a broken foot, and then survived fighting in Iraq (was in the second tank in on the first day of fighting). But I digress (that happens at 76!). Take care. 😀 –Diane
I was proud to serve Our Country and it makes me proud for the next generation that has decided to serve, AND proud of the mothers who endured seeing their son or daughter leave home. When a child serves during conflict, the entire family serves.
Thank you for your service, Kelly. When my son was in Iraq, CNN had a reporter, Martin Savidge, embedded with his unit. Yep, Mom had the TV on almost 24/7, keeping tabs on Sean. I saw him a ways behind the reporter once. I’m pretty sure he was the only 6’8″ person in the country at the time. Kinda easy to spot. 😆 Friends and family would ask me how I could stand to watch what was going on where my son was. I explained that it was better to see what was happening than to let my imagination get carried away (which, of course, it would have). And it was then that I fully understood the meaning of “No news is good news” (i.e., no knock on the door). Thanks again, Kelly. 😀 –Diane
well. i’m told i have a great sense of humor…especially one-liners.
I am far better at making observations that amuse others, sometimes even prompting outright laughter, than telling jokes. If I find a joke funny, then I usually cannot staunch my own laughter sufficiently to properly tell the joke.
I heard my son telling my grandson that the cows weren’t standing in the field. My grandson said, what does that mean? My son replied, pasture bedtime.
I’m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank.
When I was younger I could tell jokes for a long time but not now.
After twenty years in the US Navy I’m more adept at the one line zingers that are situational in nature than a formulated joke.
I like reading and hearing a good joke and I like telling a good joke. People feel good when they laugh. Here are a few I like.
I used to date a lady with a wooden leg but I had to break it off.
Then I dated a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control her pupils but we never could see eye to eye. Besides, I think she was seeing someone on the side.
I knew a guy who was in a car accident and lost his left arm and left leg. He’s all-right now. Then the poor guy lost his balance and fell into an upholstery machine. Now he’s fully recovered. He sued the company and is scheduled to testify as a material witness.
We were poor growing up. Really poor. In fact, if I hadn’t been born a boy, I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.
My Wife and I were eating in an open air cafe when it started raining. It took us an hour just to finish our soup.
I had a lot more but my space was limited. You’ll have to laugh on your own from here.
I guess I can comment more than once! Here are some more.
A lawyer called his client, who was a wealthy businessman, and told him, “I have good news and bad news”.
The business man said, “I have had a really bad day. Give me the good news first”.
The lawyer replies, “Your Wife invested about $5,000 in a couple of pictures and believes they are now worth about $1,000,000”.
The businessman says, “My Wife is a smart women, that is good news. Now, what is the bad news”.
The lawyer says, “The pictures are of you and your secretary”.
And more
A Strikingly beautiful young woman boards a flight to Europe and enters the First Class Cabin. The other passengers notice her beauty as well as a huge diamond ring on her left hand as she took her seat. The gentleman next to her could not contain his curiosity. He said, “That is an exquisitely beautiful ring”. The woman replied, “Thank you. It is a Rivara Diamond but it comes with a terrible curse”. Realizing he is about to fly across the ocean sitting next to a woman wearing a cursed ring, the man looked shocked and asked, “What’s the curse”? The lady replied, “Mr. Rivara”.
My doctor called me today and said, “I have your test results back. It looks as if we have good news and bad news.” I asked for the good news, and he said, “Your tests show that you have twenty-four hours to live.”
I said, “Good grief, that’s the GOOD news? What’s the bad news?” He replied, “I meant to call you yesterday when I got the test results.”
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My doctor and I met yesterday to go over my medical exam. He said, “Your cholesterol and blood pressure are too high, you’re not getting enough exercise, and I think you should lose at least fifty pounds.
I said, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to get another opinion.” He replied, “OK, I think you’re ugly, too.”