Reader offers hilarious advice for full-timing newbies

By Shona McCullum
Ah, the full-time RV lifestyle, where everyday life takes a detour and adventure becomes the norm.

Welcome to the world of RVing, where size truly matters. You’ll quickly learn to maneuver your colossal RV through narrow roads and tight parking spots with the finesse of a race car driver. And don’t be alarmed when fellow RVers greet you with enthusiastic waves—it’s their secret initiation ceremony. Embrace the quirks of your RV, like the squeaky door or the never-ending battle against gravity that inevitably leads to falling utensils. Remember, it’s all part of the adventure!

Marital bliss… or not

When love hits the road, what could be more romantic than spending every waking moment with your beloved spouse in a confined space on wheels? Brace yourself for the ultimate test of patience and teamwork. From backing up into campsites with precision (…or not) to mastering the art of navigating without ending up in a heated argument (good luck!), communication and compromise are key. Oh, and be prepared for the occasional “RV Navigation Olympics” where both of you become human GPS systems, leading to sometimes hilarious detours and unexpected discoveries.

Gourmet meals on a moving stovetop

Cooking in an RV is like participating in a culinary adventure game show. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to create gourmet meals using a miniature kitchen that transforms into a Tilt-a-Whirl ride at every turn. Expect gravity-defying ingredients and spice packets that go missing, only to reappear in the most unlikely places. Don’t be alarmed if your cooking resembles a contortionist act, with you gracefully dodging hot pans and swaying pots.

The perfect camping spot

Securing an ideal campsite is like winning the lottery—except with more suspense and a higher chance of ending up in the parking lot of a fast-food joint or big box store. Remember to book in advance (faaaar in advance), or you may find yourself honing your boondocking skills in a Walmart parking lot. And when you finally do find that perfect spot with breathtaking views and fantastic amenities, celebrate like you just won an Olympic gold medal! Cheers to the serendipitous moments that make the search worthwhile.

So, to all the newbie full-time RVers out there, embrace the laughter, the mishaps, and the joy of this incredible lifestyle. It took us a long time to master, but master you will.

As you navigate through the twists and turns of the open road, savor the sweet taste of adventure, culinary triumphs, and the unbreakable bond forged on wheels (hopefully). So, buckle up, savor the ride, and let the laughter guide you as you create memories that will fuel your tales around the campfire for years to come. Happy RVing!

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