How do I tell my partner that RVing isn’t for me?

By Gail Marsh
Jodi came to the campfire alone. Her husband was watching baseball back in their RV, but Jodi needed to vent. She also wanted advice. Here’s what she told those of us gathered around the fire:

“I like having my own bed, shower, and my own things no matter where we go. But I can’t figure out if RVing is really my thing. My husband is content to sit around for days at a time just looking at the woods or the water. We could have done that at home! Well, before we sold it, that is. We’re new to RVing and have been on the road for six months. I’m tired of cooking in the Barbie-size kitchen and digging to find shoes in our overstuffed closet. I’ve given full-time RVing a good try, but I’m not sure I like this lifestyle!”

Communicate!

My first thought after listening to Jodi was, “Have you talked to your husband, Roy, about this?” The most important part of full-time RVing (or any RVing) is clear communication. For all we know, Roy may feel the same way as Jodi. Either way, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the two talk openly about their feelings so that they can come up with viable solutions together.

Unique lifestyle

RVing full-time is definitely a lifestyle change. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel like Jodi. RVing isn’t for everyone because we all have different personalities, needs, and goals.

On the other hand, it’s important to give RVing a fair chance—especially if you’ve purchased an RV. Such a big investment deserves your best shot. Give yourself time to adjust. Jodi feels six months is enough.

All in

Jodi’s situation is a bit more complicated than most. She and her husband sold their stix-n-brix home, so they are “all in” with the RVing lifestyle—at least for now.

Boredom

From what Jodi already confessed, it sounds as if she’s bored. Fellow RVers offered some solutions. I’ve condensed their boredom-buster ideas here:

Join him. Jodi might simply join her husband—pull up her own camp chair and enjoy the view with him. She can use binoculars to spot birds, plants, and other parts of nature to use as conversation starters with Roy. Or take photos with her cell phone to enhance her own appreciation for our world.

Hobbies. If you love to sew, fish, read, or whatever, buy some supplies and get to work. You may need to adjust, downsize, or make room for your hobby. For example, sew smaller projects; join the local library rather than purchase books; find storage for fishing poles. While this may involve a little work and perhaps expense, if it helps relieve boredom, it’s well worth it! Perhaps you’ll discover a brand-new hobby!

Loneliness

Consider your RV partner. Jodi already knows that her husband loves being in nature. She might talk to him about things they can do together outside of the RV. Hiking or walking requires no extra gear. Exercise is beneficial for most everyone, too. Maybe this is something that this couple can do together.

Other campers. Several RVers urged Jodi to get to know other RVers. Join some of the campground’s organized activities like pickleball, book club, local sightseeing group, or Bingo. Getting to know others and spending time with new friends can banish loneliness in a flash. Even taking a daily walk with a fellow camper might make Jodi’s outlook brighter.

Friends back home. We all encouraged Jodi to stay in touch with family and friends back home. Just because you’re RVing doesn’t mean you cut ties with those you love. A phone call, text, FaceTime or email can help you feel less alone.

Specifics

If you have second thoughts about RVing, like Jodi, try to get specific. Pinpoint the individual things you do not like about RVing. Then brainstorm solutions or search for solutions online. RV blogs, social media sites, and Google searches will often suggest good ideas to try.

Kitchen space. Jodi complained about her “Barbie-size” kitchen. There are several ways to maximize an RV kitchen. A stovetop cover can add extra prep space. A slow cooker or Instant Pot can help cook yummy meals. Grilling outside the RV is also a great option. One important thing to remember is that most RVs were not designed for elaborate meal prep. Give yourself a break when meal planning. Simple is often best.

Closet issues. Jodi also mentioned her “overstuffed closet.” Maybe it’s time to pare down the amount of clothing. Store off-season items in bins in the RV basement or under the bed. Get rid of clothing and shoes that no longer fit or simply are not needed. Too much “stuff” is the potential bane of every RVer. Donate or recycle the “stuff” you no longer use.

On the road again

Jodi looked happier the day we left the RV park. (If you’re reading this, Jodi, let us know how it’s going by now.)

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6 Comments

Jon
1 month ago

Tell him you’re done, so he can stop wasting his time with you.
Life is short.
If you’re not willing to share his dream, go chase ypur own dreams.
He’ll find a partner that dreams of full-time RVing, a “Barbie-sized” kitchen and values memories above clothes & shoes.

Roland
1 month ago

Why sell your home when you haven’t figured out if RVing is something you like.

DAVID
1 month ago
Reply to  Roland

I bought my Winnebago from a couple who on a 2 week vacation in Arizona decided to buy it. They drove it back to NCWa. with all sorts of issues even though MESA R.V. said that they would take care of any issues. Not enough time for them. They didn’t know anything or read any instructions.
It sat in front of their house for 7 years until our U.P.S. driver told me about it and they wanted to sell it. Bargain day for David! 144,000 miles and still cruising down the highways. YeHaa!

Fishing Dave
1 month ago

This relationship obviously had problems long before the full-time RV decision. Her vision of this marriage does not match his. I’d suggest counseling through a clergyman or other professional. Rather than whine, take some positive actions.

As to the “Barbie” kitchen, I suggest they cook together. Outside grills are great options. And take the challenges of campfire cooking. It’s a mutual learning experience.

Donald N Wright
1 month ago

In the Aliner club, one third of the attendees at a national rally were singles. Many were married, but their spouses did not care for the RV travel life, most were alone in their popups. some had buddies who also enjoyed a week or two on the road. It’s your decision.
You just no longer need a big RV for two or more.

dwjwdakota
1 month ago

My late wife and I had Rv’d for nigh onto 30 years – as a hobby with the our longest trip from E. ND to Yellowstone, Tetons and back over 3 weeks. Following that we came to the mutual conclusion to not have a home base or “total” comfort zone (our home), would be impossible for us. So, as able, we traveled weekends and for a week or two at a time. Now alone, I still would not be able to leave home knowing I would never be back!

Roy & Jodi, it appears, jumped in with both feet into their new life-style without planning or communication. Complaining or venting about it now is not going to solve it. Talk, and buy a home base again – before all the money is gone! Enjoy week-end trips!

Last edited 1 month ago by dwjwdakota