Today I’d like to ask you not to judge. I’d like to ask that you put your discriminations, your hate, and your preconceived notions aside and just read Mary’s story below.
Mary sent us the following note. I urge you to read it, and as you do, think of the quote by Milan Kundera, who wrote the wonderful book “The Unbearable Lightness of Being.” Kundera says, “…for there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one’s own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes.”
From Mary:
When my husband and I came to Arizona it was the beginning of Covid. We decided to come here because I have two children that live here with my ex-husband and I wanted to be close to them. I was worried something might happen in general, not just because of Covid. We came in a car and camped at the campground in a tent until we saved enough money and bought an RV. I thought this would be a great solution, but come to find out it’s the worst decision I’ve ever made in my entire life.
The entire state of Arizona would rather have people homeless than let them rent spaces due to the fact that the RV is ugly. They say, “It’s too old,” or “Oh, it doesn’t look great.” All I’ve been told about our new RV is that it’s ugly. Nobody cares that it runs like a champ and it’s got a great motor in it.
We don’t have a lot of money and we hadn’t planned on staying in it for long, but since no one will let us park our RV in trailer parks, RV parks, or at the campgrounds because it’s too ugly, I am not able to get a job to add to my husband’s income so that we can purchase a park model. This also stops me from having visits with my children six months out of the year.
My husband and my cat have fallen very ill several times due to the heat and stress of this situation. We’ve made reservations and been told no after they saw what our vehicle looks like. We’ve been immediately told “no” pulling in at the gate and we’ve been told “no” after sending pictures of our RV before arriving.
We feel like we are not allowed to improve our situation or live. We feel very discriminated against by the campground workers and feel they should take responsibility for the hurt, loss, pain and suffering they have caused us.
If you buy a motorhome or an RV, don’t go to Arizona to try and live if your RV is more than 10 years old or it doesn’t look beautiful. You may lose your life because of it.
When I wrote back to Mary asking if I could print her story, she wrote, “I’m excited you want to use my story. I hope it helps people see what real life looks like. … I can’t stand the way we are treated when we just want a chance to get to a better place and move forward.”
All I ask of you today is that you be grateful for what you have. That you stay humble. And that you never, ever, judge an RV, or RVer, by its cover. We’re all just human.
##RVT1178
Hard hearted, but private property, their rules. Solution, find your own little piece of property, then you can make the rules.
Typical. How is Mary going to purchase her “own little piece of property”. Cities and towns all over America are struggling to help the homeless. Mary is in between. I have felt for a long time the best way to get RVs off the street is to put in RV parks for the betweens. Even wealthier cities have abandoned areas where houses once stood with utilities in place. These areas are also served by public transportation. A good community building project would be”how to fix up and maintain your RV”. I would not part with our 20 year old RV long paid off RV for one of these shoddy new deals. What’s going to happen when people with 20 year loans cannot afford to maintain their lemons?
And when you have your “little piece of property” you find that you can’t make your own rules. City/county/state requires you to install a well, a septic system and electricity and it’s likely you still won’t be permitted to live in an RV on it.
Public campgrounds–national, state, county, small town–don’t have 10-year rules, but many do have 14-day stay limits. However, we have found a number of free or very inexpensive ones with at least electric hookups, water, and a dump in small towns in KS, NE, OK, northern TX, and other states without a large seasonal tourist influx. You can search for them on Campendium and on many forums. But you won’t find them in AZ, CA, FL, or other tourist destinations.
I live in AZ and know that there are plenty of State, County and NFS campgrounds that don’t have a 10 yr rule. Most of them have water, power and dump stations.
I do understand what Mary is saying, but I am going to honest about my reaction. As a former community banker, I saw a lot of ‘Marys’. Some were exactly what Mary said. We got along well as banker and customer. But other ‘Marys’ said similar things and with a few questions you learn their life was one hard-luck story after another. Nice or not, they were unable to plan 10 minutes into the future to reach their spoken goal. Would I stay in a RV park with several ‘Mary’ RVs, especially if the site condition suggested it wasn’t short term? Nope.
Just a thought: For much less than it would take to buy a park model, her “runs like a champ” RV can be made to look great.
Try Quartzsite Arizona Mary. Job opportunities may be limited but it is an RV’s haven. There are a vast number of RVs ranging from new off the lot to eclectic and old. The most accepting group of people I have met.
Arizona is the state with the most opportunities of off grid camping. This person is a poster child of refusing to improve one’s situation but instead blame the world around them.
Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile or two in their shoes…
I have been there, Rich. I walked, I crawled, and I climbed out of the situation by hard work and good decisions. I didn’t get out by accusing businesses of being unfair. I’ve even been known to paint vehicles with a brush and roller. Mary and her partner could accomplish a lot with some paint and labor.
Well said!
I’m sorry the rig’s appearance has been such a burden on this family’s life, it shouldn’t be that way when people are trying to do the best they can. Yet no one wants to take a chance a decrepit looking rig will come into their park and never leave.
A paint job is clearly needed; if the paint looked normal, the rig would pass the photo tests. This could be arranged in Mexico at a lower cost than the US. Or, I’m wondering if one of the several schools in AZ which offer training and certificates in auto body and collision repair would be willing to take this on as a practice project for minimal cost.
That’s a great idea, wanderer.👍 Thanks! Have a great day. 😀 –Diane at RVtravel.com
I agree Wanderer. A little paint and some love will get Mary a little closer to the kids.
I think this story has too much “woe is me” in it.
Maybe not in Marys’ case and It may sound discriminatory, but how many of these people are not even trying to better themselves? They are used to living in squalor and will never change. It happens everywhere.
In her case, picking up and moving without any type of plan or foreseeable consequences adds to the problem.
Don’t judge a book by its cover or people by what they drive. I agree with all the comments below – for and against. There’s a place for everyone, you just need to find it.
Simple answer to this, sell the thing and go back to tent camping. One can buy some really good equipment these days, then they can be closer to their children. There is nothing demeaning about paying for a campsite and sleeping in tent. But if they are homeless, well that’s a completely different situation altogether.
Wow, where to start.
The responses to Mary’s note leave me puzzled and sad. I don’t know her story, and neither do you. She is not one of “these” people. She is a human being deserving of our compassion and care. She did not ask for solutions, she only wanted to be heard.
I don’t pretend to have solutions, but I know two things:
I’d camp next to Mary anytime. I’d love to hear her story. Why are we so afraid of her?
I’m thrilled for everyone who is doing well. When someone is not, let’s help. It’s what we do!
Blessings
Carl Hay
Campground owners have the right to set the rules. However, there are more than privately owned campgrounds to choose from. I have not seen or heard of any state, county or city Rv park with a 10 yr. rule, and they are also less expensive. No fear of permanent encampments either as they have time limits and enforcement! Besides, they are usually better maintained and often patrolled too! My personal choice is NFS or COE or state parks. Larger spaces and more privacy and breathing room too! So, “Mary’s”, look around, there are available options; – just follow their rules. And yes, some paint, spit and polish will change your Rv considerably! By the way, my Rv is 30 yrs old!
(Cont’d) Just some suggestions – you can buy a do it yourself fiberglass repair kit, wheel covers from an Rv salvage yard; and you can cover the interior of the entry door with a piece of matching vinyl and some 1/4″ padding and vinyl cover button caps! Rustoleum and Krylon make a ton of paint colors or as noted below a school project maybe an option! Fiberglass cleaners, waxes and/or polishes are also easily and readily available. You folks need to roll up your sleeves and don’t overlook Ebay as a products source. Best of luck to you and yours!
Thank you, Emily! Have a great week and safe travels! They are between a rock and a hard place. They need someone to advocate for them, or at least let them stay with some utilities. We haven’t run into this, but something like Boondockers Welcome might help if any locations are nearby. Need to get to know someone to truly help them.
This topic comes up often, and the reactions run the gamut, as it has here in the comments. There is a common thread, even from those who claim they don’t want to be judgmental, they nonetheless end up being ‘judgmental’. What and who determines an RV to be ugly and unworthy of acceptance? Honestly, I’ve seen units less than 5 years old that looked ugly to me, but why should that matter? Yes, campground owners can set their rules, however, in today’s economy, it might be advisable to keep their unbending policies intact. If they refuse a paying customer because of an ugly RV, they might not be able to replace that customer with one that passes their aesthetic standard.
There is a non-profit organization, Homes on Wheels Alliance, that helps people like “Mary” get their vehicles ready to live in. They have BYOV, bring your own vehicle, builds where they help with everything from building out a truck, car or van to just adding solar to what they have. Started by Dave Wells of Cheap RV Living it is a great organization. I’ve seen some of the builds done in Pahrump but they do them around the county now.
Unfortunately RVing is becoming a very very expensive hobby or way of life. I just spent almost $6000 visiting family in the PNW, mainly staying at a military base where my grands live but also going to OR to visit my other son.
I’m thinking it would be cheaper to buy a second house in their town…B&B when I’m not there and an appreciating asset.
I feel for them, and their situation. Upgrading from tent camping and moving into a motorized RV is a good choice. However, purchasing this rig was not in their best interests.
The RV game is expensive be it motorized or TT and being that it’s basically a house that moves, there is always maintenance to do. But that maintenance and upkeep (or restoration in this case) will be what keeps you on the road and enjoying the camping life.