By Chuck Woodbury
ROADSIDE JOURNAL
That headline may sound like clickbait, an attempt to get your attention with a sensational headline where the article that follows does not live up to what the reader might expect. But it is not. I have been telling this story to friends for years. I haven’t written about it, I don’t think. Until now…
If you remain reading this essay and not abandon it out of boredom, you will understand why the headline above makes sense.
And now, the story. It has to do with human rear ends and underpants.
If you are an aspiring writer of RV articles, you will do no wrong by writing about anything to do with RV sewers (toilets are good, too) or human waste, which I shall refer to from here on as “poop”. For example, while a story about how to dump a holding tank is no big deal, writing about when a dumping went wrong will rocket your readership into the stratosphere. Write about how the contents of the holding tank spilled all over the place, maybe down the RV park road into the duck pond, and you will score the equivalent of a baseball home run.
What is it about poop that fascinates so many people? I do not understand.
Now, getting to the point
Here, then, is where the comparison to kindergarteners comes in. If you remember being a young child or you are a parent of a young child or children, you know a child’s reaction when one of their peers mentions anything to with underpants. Oh my goodness! The kids go crazy — grinning, giggling, blushing, squirming around … all because someone said “underpants.”
And why, I wonder, are we grownups, even older grownups, even really old grownups, so fascinated by a related subject (poop)? It seems to me there is a relationship between underpants and the contents of RV sewer tanks that spans the ages. The subjects are like first cousins.
I am still waiting for a reader to contact me about a rat that bit him or her on the behind while sitting on their RV’s toilet. Yes, a rat in the toilet! I am waiting (patiently) for that report and the hordes of people who will be attracted to my subsequent story like moths to a porch light. That story would not just be a home run, it would be like two grand slams at two consecutive at-bats, the last one that wins the game with two outs in the bottom of ninth.
P.S. If you have a good story about an RV sewer or toilet — a mishap would be excellent — or about any species of creature climbing out of a toilet, please let me know.
##RVT1127
Now that’s a story to start a Sunday! Great laugh.
Well, if you didn’t grab the reader with the title, you surely got them with the “underpants” line! A fun read! Thanks……
No stories coming from my RV toilet, but I bet there should be some related to vault toilets out there.
Bronte woman gets bit on the ass while on the toilet.
Not really but that is the headline that was in my head after I got up from the toilet in the old farmhouse we just bought in Bronte, TX 20 odd years ago.
I looked down and thought I didn’t poo that much and then the forked tongue went through the toilet paper. Then I learned that most old farmhouse sewer tanks were tankless just pits with big pipes.
For the next 12 years that I lived in that house a big rock lived on the toilet seat in that particular bathroom.
I was thinking a story about a snake in the RV toilet would be a grand slam home run. Thank goodness RV toilets work differently!
I haven’t heard the term “underpants” IN DECADES! And you’re absolutely right about it. As Bob Hope used to sing, “Thanks for the memories”.
Thank you, Chuck. Unfortunately, I have no such stories. It did take me quite a while to understand exactly how to operate the macerator in the wet bay of RV #1 (2016 American Revolution). By the time we got #2 last summer (2022 Newmar New Aire), I had become acceptably proficient. I do have a copy of the movie RV, so I can easily remind myself of dumping gone horribly wrong. Thankfully, we have never come close to approximating that famous dumping scene.
Unfortunately I DO have a great Sh*t shower story, Chuck. Haven’t put pen to paper yet, but now that I know you’re into that kind of thing, I’ll make it a point to try and do that soon.
I think the author of this article is the one fascinated with poop, not RVers.
It is impossible to hit back to back grand slams in consecutive at bats.
Single inning.
And despite the denial, a pure clickbait entry…
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I like to put oxxo chicken cubes in the water supply line or even better in the shower hose and everyone smells like chicken soup. Jajaja.😊🐔🐓
The first hurried visit to the toilet in the morning – there was a bat in the bowl. Actually managed to fish him out and release him outside before attending to my business.
Wow! I bet that woke you up quick, Judy! I’m glad you didn’t get bit. Have a good evening/night. 😀 –Diane at RVtravel.com
Oh boy…can’t wait to read more crappy stories😵💫
Funny that you should want a story just after I faced a dumping the poo predicament. We arrived at our RV spot and I opened the hatch to attach the sewer hose. But the cap on the black and gray tanks was full of green water. We know that only the black tank has green water! The cap was FULL of green water so could not be taken off without creating a TERRIBLE mess. How had this happened. Both black and grey valves were closed when we left early this morning. But, in transit, the sewer hose stored in the hatch also, had managed to wedge itself behind the gray tank valve and had PUSHED IT OPEN. So NOW what do I do? If I just remove the cap all the “stuff” will flood the basement area ……
Yikes! I have no idea, Donald, but good luck!🤞 And then I hope you have a good night. 😀 –Diane at RVtravel.com
Thank you for the story, Chuck! Always good to read one of your articles, even when recycled. Thus far, the nearest that I/we come to a story of poop is recounted in my comment of more than a year ago. Very, very happy with the pooping aspects of RV #2. Have a great day and safe travels!
Funny you should ask for “episodes,” Chuck. Just happen to have one here from our pop-up trailer days in Arizona called, “Delta P or Pressure Dynamics.”
“Normally, I would say this subject is relatively simple for most folks to understand on a basic level. The weather lady tells us that a big high-pressure airmass is headed our way, followed by a low-pressure storm system. We all know how our ears pop when we change altitudes in a plane. When you can your tomatoes and the mason jar cools, the pressure decreases inside, sealing the top closed tight. However, there are ways that one can be fooled, especially into an unwary sense of security.”
If you can provide me a way to send you the rest of the story, with images and full explanation of how a porta-potty experience turned comedic, I will be happy to share this entertaining story I originally published on an old website I had called, RV Fables.
Hi, Steve, You can email us the rest of the story at editor@rvtravel.com. We can’t wait to read it! Thanks! –Emily