Wednesday, November 30, 2022


Milkshakes come in one size: ‘Medium’



I didn’t take a crown even though they were free.

By Chuck Woodbury
I hardly ever eat fast food. Four times a year I dine at McDonald’s. Once every five years I eat at Burger King.

Today was my Burger King day. I was in Minnesota. I don’t remember where, except it was right off I-90. The only other choice was Dairy Queen, which I initially opted for. But I turned right when I should have turned left and ended up at Burger King. I was too hungry to turn around.

I ordered a burger, a Whopper, which is a big hamburger. Then I ordered a milkshake.

“I’d like a vanilla shake,” I said to the young girl behind the counter. I asked her what sizes they came in. I was hoping for a small. “They only come in one size,” she said and then she waited for my response. But I was confused. I asked, “If they only come in one size, what size is that?” To which she replied “Medium.”

“So you only have one size and that one size is medium?” I asked. 

She said that was correct. She looked puzzled, like why was I making such a big deal over a milkshake.

I guess I was the only customer she’d served who found it funny that the one size would be medium. I mean, if you buy a pair of socks and they only come in one size, they would just be called socks, with maybe a label that said “one size fits all.” They would not be called medium socks.

So I told her I would have a medium shake. She brought it out and it did not look particularly medium to me. I think it could have been called small. But not large.



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5 years ago

Years ago, an unnamed fast food place (with Golden Arches in front of it) had three sizes of sodas — medium, large, and something even bigger — gargantuan, maybe. They wouldn’t let you order a small size. It’s almost as ridiculous as the coffee sizes offered by a certain national chain, named after a character in Moby Dick.

5 years ago

I’m late reading this issue, but here’s my comment on the milkshakes. We have Whataburger here in Texas. They have 3 actual sizes of milkshakes, even give the ounces on the menu. Small is 16 oz., medium is 20 oz., and I don’t remember the large, since I never order it. You could probably get them to make you 12 oz. kid’s size if you ask. Their Root Beer milkshake is pretty good, but it’s only available on special promotions, as is the new Coffee milkshake flavor. Come to Texas and try it out!!

M Lader
5 years ago

In 1970 we were in Florida participating in a race at Sebring. A group of us went into town at 9:00pm to get something to eat. The only place open was a drive in. I included a milk in my order and the car hop said “Large or Small?” I replied Large. She said “We only have Small.” That has tickled us to this day.

Edward Price
5 years ago

Nobody buying a milkshake wants to think they are buying a teensy milkshake, nor do they want to think of themselves as milkshake hogs, so medium makes everybody happy with their purchase.

5 years ago
Reply to  Edward Price

I think this is overthinking the whole thing

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