As many of us age, we find ourselves taking care of our aging parents as well. As kids, our parents take care of us; they teach us how to ride a bike, change a flat tire, they take us to the beach, on camping trips… But as they age, the roles reverse and it becomes our turn to take care of them. The circle of life, right?
Are you a caregiver for one or both of your parents (or guardians)? Please tell us in the poll below. Leave a comment too, if you’d like.
My parents passed away in 1997. We are 10 siblings, two have passed away, the oldest three are between 78 and 81, My little brother is disabled and I know I will become a caregiver. As someone else posted, it’s a natural process but I don’t like being at the end of the line.
Really should have a category for people who were caregivers at one time but their charges have passed on. That’s the category I fall into and judging from the comments here so do quite a few other people.
we lost my MIL 4-years ago.
Not now, but I was for awhile. My mom had dementia. It was very hard, so I totally understand what caregivers go through.
No. But I’ve watched many who have or are. Bless them for the patience in taking care of their parents. I don’t expect my children to endure that stress. They have always been around to help even when they were growing up. They’ve already done their part. A burden I don’t want to be. When I’m to that point it’s time to close the eyes and ride off in the RV to the sky. Just hope the hell there’s a great park up there.
Our parents and grandparents are all gone. Sitting back thinking about it, in the natural course of life, I’m next. And I plan on living long enough to become a problem for my children. 😁😁😁😁😁😁
Not anymore, sadly they are gone.
Not 100%. Mom is 92. Have 2 sisters, 5 brothers 55 to 80, (1 & 2 are half) within 2 hrs of my Mom. She’s living at home w/part time caregiver. Since I am oldest & retired, out of my Mom’s kids, I handle all medical appts/issues, her bills/mail, prescriptions. Scheduling any help needed if issues w/the house. My youngest brother who lives furthest does come down to fix major issues w/house, etc. My half sister who is 78 does the grocery shopping for caregiver & fills in on Sunday mornings when care giver is off. My other sister has caregivers for her husband who has had Alzheimer’s since he was 58, he’s 73, has caregiver that she alternates with every other Saturday to give Mom’s caregiver a full day off. We are leaving for our annual 2 month trip end of January. Always feel guilty, but we don’t know how many more years we can travel & trying to enjoy the time we do have. Hate the idea of a nursing home, w/Covid not an option.
I’ve been a caregiver for a mentally handicapped son since his birth back in 1971. I lost his mother to a stroke back in 2009, so I’ve been soloing it ever since. Thankfully, he is in good physical health and loves camping, so it works out for us very well.
Thank you, Jim, for giving your son such a good life! I wish you many blessings in 2021.
So, No but a caregiver for another family member. Perhaps that should have been an option. The work is the same and the concern is the same. Just not the relationship. Been a caregiver for more than 14 years now.
my wife was. Her mother had Pancreatic cancer and died.
I said yes but only for their transportation. During this time of Covid I am also doing their shopping to keep them safe.
I put myself down as a yes, however my Mom passed away this year at 92. But for the last several years I have been a caregiver, providing transportation, financial oversight, and lots more. In the summer when we are at our RV location, I drove the 200 miles each way to take her to her appointments etc. It was difficult, and my husband wanted us to have a “life”, as did I. She lived in a senior apartment that included meals, housekeeping, and transportation; so I was able to take a week or two off here and there. We are now more able to go where we want when we want.
I said no because my father died about 4 weeks ago. For the 18 months prior to then I was a care-giver, not the only one, but one of them. My mother is in very good health at age 89 but I visit her daily to be current on how she is and what, if any, signs of decline appear. Moreover, we moved from 10-hours away to 5 minutes almost 4 years ago to be more available to both sets of parents. We had all 4 then. Now we have 3.
I think if you had an “I am the parent” option, the NO option would have been cut by 90%.
After rereading my comment I sound very cold please believe me when I say there were Many rewarding times caring for my mom, it was not until the last 6 or 9 mo. that was extremely hard. I also realize not everyone is in the position to care for a loved one, but we would not have done any thing differently. Its hard to put 4 1/2 year in two paragraphs.
You were there for your mom; you didn’t sound cold.
My wife and I cared for my mom for four and a half years , we kept her at home with us until she passed from Alzheimer’s at 95. I never would have thought I would pray to God to take my mom but I did daily. I pray for any one who is a caregiver, that you have the strength to carry on , you will have peace in the end knowing you cared for them . God Bless You.
both of my parents have passed on, however we (siblings and myself) were the caretakers when they became ill. when i look back on it now, we have some really good memories of all of us coming together to care for them. when my mother-in-law became ill, my husbands family did the same, even though he only has one sibling, my brother-in-law and i were there to help him and his sister.
Both of my parents and grandparents passed away years ago, but my wife is still taking care of her mother (92) who still lives on her own. The other kids only show up (and her sister doesn’t work) when we are camping. Everyone lives within 5 miles, but my wife is the first born and the one leaned on for everything. I took the others aside and told them, when she retires this year, we are gone and they are responsible for the caretaking, because we’re not coming back (funeral excepted). We have our retirement home picked out and a buyer for our home in place.
It’s tough to make these kinds of decisions but having been in a ‘sort-of’ similar situation with my mother-in-law, I totally agree with you.