A drunken raccoon liquor store break-in in Virginia ended with a trashed shop, smashed bottles, and one very hungover “trash panda” (slang for raccoon). The latter was found snoozing in the bathroom after an apparent late-night whiskey binge. RVers more accustomed to fighting to keep these critters away from the picnic table may find a bit of wry—rye?—humor here.
Beeline for the bottom shelf
The masked bandit had slipped into the Ashland-area liquor store early Saturday. It made a beeline for the bottom shelf where the scotch and whiskey were kept. By the time staff arrived the next morning, the scene looked like the aftermath of a rowdy frat party. Bottles shattered, booze pooled on the floor, and even a ceiling tile knocked out during the chaos.
Officer Samantha Martin was called to investigate the break-in and quickly realized this was no ordinary burglar. Her search led her to the bathroom, where the culprit was sprawled between a toilet and a trash bin. The suspect was described by Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter as “very intoxicated.”
“I personally like raccoons,” Martin said. “They are funny little critters. He fell through one of the ceiling tiles and went on a full-blown rampage, drinking everything.” The unusual call left her laughing more than lamenting the mess: “Another day in the life of an animal control officer, I guess.”
“Poor life choices”
Martin ferried the groggy critter back to the shelter, where he slept off his ill-advised adventure. The agency later confirmed he had no injuries “other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices,” and was released back into the wild after recovering — hopefully, as they put it, having learned “that breaking and entering is not the answer.”
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RVT1238b
At least he was smart enough to find the bathroom in case he threw up!