Thursday, December 8, 2022


The bug that lives, poops and has sex on your face



By Chuck Woodbury
Some friends and I were discussing reincarnation. I said I did not believe in it. But I said if I were to come back I did not want to come back as a certain bug I’d heard about. The creature has a terrible life. How terrible, you ask?

A Demodex mite.

How about this? It’s born, then it lives awhile, and then one day it feels the urge to poop. Now, this is where the “terrible life” comes in. It seems that when that time comes, the tiny, eight-legged arachnid, called a Demodex Mite, has a serious problem. You see, it has no butt.

So when it gets the urge to go, it’s in a heap o’ trouble!

My friends said, “Oh, Chuck, you are fibbing, there is no such bug.” But I was right. A study by North Carolina State University revealed that 100 percent of the people tested had the mites. Other studies have shown that people under 18 may not have them, but as they age, so does the incidence of infestation.

But there is even worse news than how the mites die, and that is that they live on our faces. The creatures, which are related to spiders and ticks, bury head-down in our hair follicles, living off our skin oils. 

A Demodex Mite usually lives 2 to 3 weeks. The female lays 15 to 20 eggs inside the hair follicle near the sebaceous glands. The eggs develop into larvae, which eventually become adults. The male will leave the follicle in search of a mate, while the female stays put. They can walk approximately 10 mm/h and tend to be more active in the dark.

No matter how long and hard you scrub, the bugs remain. They’re strong little buggers! 

And so, whether you like it or not, the mites are there on your face right now. Some are just lapping up your skin oils, while others are having sex.

But maybe the worst part of all is that when the mites finally get an undeniable urge to part with a lifetime supply of numero dos, there is nowhere for it to go — that is, without consequences. That’s when the really ugly part occurs: they just let loose. In doing so, they blow themselves to smithereens, sending their poop flying every which way, right there on your face.

Okay, now go wash up. But it won’t do you any good.

P.S. There is a serious side to this. Some people suffer from a Demodex infestation and may require medical treatment.

Read a more scientific article about the mites.


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Laura P Schulman, M.D.
5 years ago

Get ready to be even more bummed: Demodex mites don’t live in just any old pores. Two distinct species like to inhabit your eyelashes and the glands that keep everything working right over there.

I’ll post the link to the optometry site that hear the best electron micrographs, after I tell you how to get rid of them:

You will need: a small bottle of Dr Bronner’s baby soap, a 5 ml bottle of fresh Tea Tea Oil, and a bottle of Neem oil (neem is a tree leaf that has very powerful bad juju for bugs and very good juju for humans). Take the cap off the soap and dump 20 drops of tea tree oil into the bottle of soap. Shake the neem until it’s homogeneous. For some neem oils you will have to apply heat by way of a water bath to liquify the somewhat waxy oil. Put a teaspoon=5 ml into the soap and shake it all up. Wash your face with this morning and night, concentrating on the eyelids/lashes (This is why you needed baby soap, so it won’t sting too much) If you do find that it stings, be assured that neither Tea Tree nor neem is toxic to tissues in small amounts. Rinse your face very well, and apply moisturizer with sunscreen.

Happy camping!

–Dr Laura, the camp doctor

elaine ashton
5 years ago

HOLY CRAP … this is not only an exceptional RV magazine … it’s a very informative medical journal. No wonder my guardian angel told me to get Tea Tree Oil shampoo and use Tea Tree oil for various “parts” … I just sensed I needed this. WHOA!

Patrick Granahan
5 years ago

Chuck, I just love your interesting comments.
I often say I learn something new everyday.
Today I learned why “Bald is Beautiful !”

Keep up the good work !

Tommy Molnar
5 years ago


Think I’ll go stand in the shower for a couple hours. Then soak in the tub for the rest of the day.